Writing
This is my writing for the first week and I am making a part two so here is my first piece...
I finally get out and I feel the tall trees towering over me and the bitterly cold water leaking through my damp shoes the flowers look like they are dancing through the ice cold wind that drys your mouth out and makes your lips burn.
The essence of the flowers makes my nose light up. Then I see a illuminated figure carefully enchanting me with her soft voice but I take my mind off it and hear the trickling water flowing softly down the creek and that's when I heard her again whispering for me to follow. It only took me a few seconds for me to decide...
Hey Callum, Will Here.
ReplyDeleteI like your blog post because you added in the photo and there is a great example of personification. Next time you could make your text clearer by using white on black etc. Anyway this was a very descriptive blog post.
Will.
Hi Callum Its Morgan here. Wow that is great I really like how you said "Then I see a illuminated figure carefully enchanting me with her soft voice". I think that this is a Fantastic piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteE noho ra bye
Hi Callum Arly here. I love your descriptive writing. The way you describe everything gives off an eerie vibe and its great. I know that you have experience in places like these and the way you describe it as if from memory sounds amazing. All you need to do is change the colour of the text.
ReplyDeleteKia ora Cullam, It is Lincon from Karoro school. I really liked the piece of descriptive writing that you have done. It is really good. I like the piece were it goes like (hear the trickling water flowing softly down the creek). That is a really good sentence. Something you need to do is make the writing black, because it is really hard to read. This would make your work top notch. If you want to, you could go have a look at my blog, here is the link http://karorolincons.blogspot.com/
ReplyDelete