This week for writing we did a description on Miss Reissmann And heres mine
this week we also did a summary on our journal and here's mine It was hard but I did it.
THE BIG GAME
The Big Game is a pre season game The kids what to go to but football is in the family so they do chores and help their mum around the house. They are from a small town so not much happens around the town so there really exited.
Here is my quick write for this week
It was a beautiful Sunny day the birds were singing I was driving in my Mclaren p1 When suddenly I spotted a Dead monkey But it was still eating a banana Which I thought was suspicious maybe He was just sleeping but I was injected from my seat I landed in a circus tent full of clowns my fear is clown’s the clown’s said “i'm coming for you” Which was scary to me I started running but I was on a treadmill. I was glued I couldn't get away “AAAAHHHH” I screamed the clown’s were getting closer Luckily I come unstuck I sprint away at 40000000 kph I get back to my car and start driving I’m looking through my window Bang I hit something I get out There's a clown But it's a ZOMBIE it rips of my arm I jump back in my car and hit it 17 more times now it's actually dead My car is full of blood I need the hospital I say to myself I drive to the hospital But I walk in and everyone's a zombie hamburger I eat them all I wake up “wow it was just a dream” I say but it wasn't it was deja vu . TEEHEE
this is my cybersmart infographic
this is my cybersmart infographic
Hi Callum, I enjoyed reading your description of Miss Reissmann. I especially like how you have described her hair as I can pictue in my mind exactly how it looks. Next time you could add a personal anecdote that gives us an insight into your character's personality as this will help us really get to know your person. Very original quick write also, I love how the dead monkey was suspiciously eating a banana. What is your writing WALT so your readers can give you some specific feedback?
ReplyDeleteKia Ora Callum, I really like your writing of the big game. I also like ever thing else you have done.
ReplyDeleteNext time you can try to have bigger spacer in you paragraphs, but every thing else is all good. I remember when I did a story and it was about a new dimension. I think it was really good.
Do you think you will do another big story like this. if you do it would be really cool and I would like it.
By Blake from grey main school.
if you want to check out my blog click this link or copy and past it bye. http://gmsblakec9977.blogspot.co.nz/